chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
