How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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