I can tuck mytits in my pants
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
