real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize