No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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