they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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