Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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