he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
