Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
