Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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