you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
