I can tuck mytits in my pants
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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