whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
