ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
