Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
