also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
