If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
