The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
