Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Enjoy the penises
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
