No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
