apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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