I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
