that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
