How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
