I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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