i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
