I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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