so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
