I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
