Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Houston, we have a squirter
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
