I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
