I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
