I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
