so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
