Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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