I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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