did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
