Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
