so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
