Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
