yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
