she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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