id be glad to
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
