K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
