Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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