They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
