so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
