I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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