brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
