I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
