I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
