her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
