I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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