i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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