Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
