She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
