i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
