you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
